Jars
Extracted from Scrivener backup: Jars.bak2017-08-30T20-41
Draft
Vol. 1
<$ScrKeepWithNext>PAGE #1: 3 Panels\
Panel 1: A city street. Night time. Light from within the Bonheur lounge makes it glow warm in contrast with the torrential rain-pour outside.
Panel 2: Raindrops trace meandering lines along the glass facade of the lounge, like tears along a cheek. Inside, people are laughing, mingling and enjoying themselves.
Panel 3: Viewed from the other side of the glass, everyone seems to be smiling a little too much. Cheeks are pinched back and eyebrows permanently raised via (rather obvious) plastic surgery.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
They would ban the rain too, if they could find a way.\
PAGE #2: 4 Panels
Panel 1: A more naturally handsome man sits at a table cluttered with empty cocktail, martini and win glasses. He stares at something intently with lust in his eyes.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
They found a way to ban Steven King though.\
Panel 2: The man’s hand slaps a nearby waitress on her behind.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
And Cormac McCarthy.\
Panel 3: Split Panel - First half: The waitress’ face is, for a brief moment, surprised. Second half: She quickly fixes her expression back to the perpetual happiness advertised on all the faces surrounding her.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
And Edgar Allen Poe.\
Panel 4: Another waitress stands opposite, having watched the whole affair transpire. Her smile is more subdued than the rest of the crowd. She doesn’t look overly pleased.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
My acolytes. \
PAGE #3: 4 Panels
Panel 1: The observing waitress turns to walk away, but not before the pervert spots her and turns his head to get a good look at her.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
But I don’t wager any of them could’ve written a world like this into existence.\
Panel 2: An overhead shot of the waitress walking down the corridor to the bathrooms, with the pervert following.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
Did they truly weigh the scales before all this begin?\
Panel 3: The pervert opens the door to the bathroom and the waitress is there, staring at him with now-devious eyes.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
There must be some value to sadness after all?\
Panel 4: The waitress walks over to the bsthroom mirror and peers deep into herself while the pervert looks on.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
What was the cost of all the pain and suffering they wiped away?\
PAGE #4: 3 Panels
Panel 1: The waitress uses two fingers to peel off some glue that was plugging her tear ducts shut.
Panel 2: A tear streams down her face in the mirror. The pervert behind her is shocked.
Panel 3: Spilt panel - First half The waitress puts a finger to her face on top of the tear. Second half: She holds the tear in her up-turned finger, admiring it.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
These days I charge 10 for a drop…\
PAGE #5: 2 Panels
Panel 1: The waitress, who is in fact our hero - Eleos, places the tear drop on the tongue of the pervert, already hanging out of his mouth to receive. His pupils dilate instantly.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
And 100 for a vial.\
Panel 2: The man’s eyes well up and his once composed face is now marked by sadness.
PAGE #6: 4 Panels
Panel 1: The pervert exits the washroom, adjusting his tie and trying to regain composure. Through the still-ajar door, Eleos is putting on a baseball cap to hide her now semi-exposed real face.
Panel 2: The pervert walks back into the lounge and freezes in the middle of all the action.
Panel 3: He falls to his knees with tears streaming down his eyes, hands on his head, and his mouth opened round into a scream.
Panel 4: The onlookers appear to be only mildly curious, with most still smiling and sipping on their cocktails.
PAGE #7: 2 Panels
Panel 1: Eleos walks past the not-so-commotion towards the front exit.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
I must’ve felt more hate for Grabby than than I thought.\
Panel 2: A man with grotesquely-done plastic surgery watches her leave. His features have been pulled back and picked at so much that his feel appears nearly skeletal. The most jarring aspect is his smile, which is so wide and permanent that it’s more gums than teeth.
PAGE #8: 1 Panel
Eleos walks out in the big city, still being pelted with rain. Various billboards for beauty products and get-a-way vacations act as constellations hung above her. Biggest of all is one that reads:
<$ScrKeepWithNext>‘KNOW NO WORRIES,
EVER AGAIN.\
- SISKO WELLNESS’\
PAGE #9:
How does it feel to be a walking meth-lab?
Potent.
Dutiful.
Exhausting.
Mostly there’s no time to dwell.
Water starts pooling at Eleos’ feet at an alarming rate. Has the bucket tipped over?
No it hasn’t. Instead mini-waterfalls of tears have begun gushing down each of her cheeks. Her expression is not one of sadness, but of relief. (EFFECT: Her tears are spilling out past the border of the comic pane, with the edge of the panel, and the ink of the voiceover appearing slightly smudged due to the water.\
<$ScrKeepWithNext>ELEOS (V.O.)\
It’s usually just time to get to work.
Research
Rough
A person cries a lot more than average. They cry enough that they can bathe in their own tears. They cry enough that they can put the tears in jars, and put dates and names on the jars.
They sell the jars in an underground market for moonshine.
This person lives in a world where things are plentiful and people feel guilty being sad.
One panel: A shelf with a bunch of jars with dates and names
Panels: Showing the different effects of drinking one of his jars
What’s the cost of suffering? I charge 10 for a drop and 200 for a vial.
A man fancies her at the cafe. She lets him follow her. He enters the bathroom. A tear falls from her eye, and she puts it on her finger. The man opens his mouth and she places the finger on it.
First The fact that rain tried to be banned. Then the list of actual things that were banned. Then why they were banned. Then what is the cost of pain and suffering. Then 10./100. Then the fact that she is the only one she knows who can do this. Then the fact that she must’ve been in a bad mood when the addict freaks out.
Earlier she saw him pat the booty of a girl. The girl was surprised but then had to act normal due to societal norms.
A man sees her walk out. He is more grotesque than the rest.
SHE GOES HOME. - Where does she live? Has to be unique.
We see her process and a flashback.
The last scene may be the wall of tear jars with dates and names.
Then volume 2 with her talking to a muse.
Then vol 3 with her talking to a low level dealer of her product.
- It turns out Grotesque, the guy who saw her leave the club is actually a drug dealer who wants to go into business with her. He wants money. He is worth less (due to only being able to afford cheaper, uglier surgery). She wants to spread her misery to all who will have it.
That’s up to issue #3. Who is the muse she is talking to? Someone new, a prostitute maybe, or a seemingly put together person that she digs deep into to pull out the sadness.
\
Plot
- Daytime in public. Eveyone looks a bit too happy. Our hero is serving someone. They order something really chirpy. The internal monologue makes the hero seem to hate the person he is serving.
Somewhere from within his tightly strung face comes a tear, which falls into the drink. The server leaves the restaurant at the person drinks it and begins to melt.
Then we get to see our hero in their home. And a lot of explaining how their power works.
Then people come looking for her to get revenge. She kills them and smiles.
Aug 30
- Try to work in a scene where a characte is looking down from a high balcony and sees parties going on on multiple rooftops below.\
- Can people recognize her when she is in disguise, or is it a Clark Kent situation?
Sisko Wellness: have been transforming this society for 20 years. How was Eleos involved?
Used to work for them.
Transferrence: they pumped her full of other people’s sadness to relieve them.
That’s how it started. They used to run happiness brothels where people would come and take out their misery and then feel relieved.
They used to connect through a neural node.
Then tech improved and they found ways to supress sadness outright.
The hookers would end up suiciding because they were sad, but Eleos was built stronger.
Muse: 20 years old and conventionally beautiful (natural)
Has had a suppresent since she was 5 years old. She only has one pesky memory of sadness from when she was 5. So she barely knows sadness enough to be curious about it. Hers is the 1 st generation to never know sadness in it’s entirety.
The Bard - no The Auditor:
Our villain from Sisko. He is a rep who needs to erase sadness whereever it shows. He has worked as a pimp’ in the happiness brotherl. After the advent of the suppressant, he was reassigned to be an auditor. To make sure no one has contraband books orm usic.
The auditor and Eleos are both survivors.
The way the tear power is found out is through someone kissing the tear soaked face of a power possessed hoker. It could be the assailant in an attempted assault.
Make the Auditor a simpathetic villain.