The ‘awards of excellence’ ceremony happened one a quarter in the break room at Canadian Tire. Boss got a budget from corporate for some croissants from Costco and some sodas. The morning and afternoon shifts got fresh cake and the soda at shift changeover with announcment of the winner: best attendance, best customer rating and best employee rating.
The attendance award usually went to Grace, the overworked single mum of 2 who couldn’t afford to be late and keep her house.
The other 2 awards shifted as they were more qualitiative so Boss could honour everyone once. What you got was a paper certificate on semi-hard cardstock with your name and the date on it. One was hung up on the wall in an array for 12, one column getting overriden each quarter so as not to take up too much of the wall space with valour and leave enough room for safety bulletins and all the older employee’s kids’ raffles.
“So what do Sheekhs believe?” Boss said, mouth full of cake.
“Um, we believe in one god, like Muslims, but we also believe in reincarnation like Hindus,” Happy said.
“So you’re a compromise with the Mausoleums?” Boss said.
“We were invaded by the Muslims yes, but we also found wisdom in their teachings. And you could say we’re a compromise. We wouldn’t take that as an insult. We believe there are many paths to God, and ours is only one way. The thought of compromising between faiths that usually don’t mix isn’t foreign to us,” Happy said.
“But why do you wear that thing on your head that scared people away if you’re compromisers,” Boss said.
“Well we dont’ compromise on everything. We’re the voice for the voiceless and very brutally strong. If anyone needs our help against an opressor we help them. That’s why we wear this, so the helpless can find us and we can’t hide who we are and we must step up and defend them,” Happy said.
“So are you going to cause a ruckus in my store?” Boss said.
“Not unless someone is committing a crime. I’ll have to stop them,” Happy said.
Boss took another big bite of his cake before speaking through it.
“I met another Skeekh while I worked in Chicargo. Jimmy. His wife made the spiciest food. It turned the top of my head red according to my wife,” Boss said.
Boss had a Filipino wife who was too hot for him, but she was fresh off the boat. Everyone joked that she must’ve been mail order but it was probably the truth. Turns out white men had a way to bail themselves out of the dating market just like brown men, but it relied on monetary arbitrage vs an arranged marriage structure. Men found a way unless they were too far gone.
“Yeah our food can be spicy. Why did you move here?” Happy said.
“My moving business starting picking up and I wanted to be close to manage it,” Boss said.
Happy’s attention piqued.
“Moving business? And how did it go for you to end up here,” Happy said.
Boss laughed.
“I’m just here for the insurance bud. Self-employed makes that hard. I have a couple of guys running it while i’m not here, but they’re not the most reliable. New orders go an answering machine that I respond to in my car before heading home,” Boss said.
“That must be hard work, taking care of people’s things and not getting paid hourly,” Happy said.
“Yeah but if you do it well it beats an hourly wage. It all depends on if you treat customers well and you don’t break shit. Then you get reccommended and you make a killing,” Boss said.
“So why are you still here?” Happy said.
“It’s hard work, and it’s hard to find reliable people out there. Everyone wants to thieve from you. And I can’t quit to do that full time. My wife needs weekly massages for her scholiosis and I can’t afford that without insurance,” Boss said.
“What do you believe in Boss?” Happy said.
“I believe in trust. If I can trust you you might as well be God. If I can’t, you’re the devil to me and I’ll see you burn in my lifetime,” Boss said.
Happy looked at the clock nervously.